Why is the title of my blog Not So Drunk Lisa? It all goes back to college….where I really began my career as a raging alcoholic. I loved drinking. I lived for happy hour, and ladies night. I would get black out drunk on a regular basis and became know as Drunk Lisa, which I HATED. Even though I hated this nickname, it didn’t stop me from continuing to drink like a crazy person.
Although I knew I drank a lot, and did some stupid things while drunk, I did not consider myself to be an alcoholic. All of my friends drank as much as I did, and the college I attended was knows as a party school. You were somewhat respected for binge drinking at a party on a weeknight, and then making it to class the next morning. I also managed to do well in school, graduating with honors which shocked many of my peers. I still remember the looks I received from a few people when the honors program members were asked to stand up during the graduation ceremony. One friend actually thought I was joking and then whispered to me, “should you be standing up?”.
I was honestly lucky to be at graduation considering I partied so hard the night before, my best friend and I didn’t wake up to our alarms blaring. Luckily my roommate had to work that morning, so she woke us up. I changed quickly and we ended up making it on time, although still drunk. My family was not happy. I was supposed to leave the tickets for the graduation in the mailbox the night before, but never did. When I rushed outside to get to graduation, they were waiting there annoyed. I realized on the way to the ceremony I had dozens of missed calls from different family members, but in the end we were there, so I felt like there was no problem.
After the ceremony we had our families to our house, and my Mom was very, very upset with me. I actually ended up crying because I felt so bad, but not bad enough to stay sober. We continued our celebration through the night.
A normal person would possibly take a step back, look at the events of that weekend, and question his or her drinking. Drunk Lisa on the other hand, did not! This was my final weekend in college, and I honestly thought I would grow out of this phase of binge drinking. Unfortunately this cycle would continue for another 9 years before I accepted that I had a problem with alcohol.
This is one of many stories I will share in my blog in hopes that there are women and men out there who understand the struggle of finding the path to sobriety.